Opening the Doors

Working with gay, lesbian, bi-sexual & transgender young people

Strategies

Dealing with bullying and harassment at your service
One of the major issues affecting gay and lesbian young people is bullying, discrimination and harassment.

This type of behaviour can, understandably, have a major impact on a young person's self esteem and self acceptance.

Young gays and lesbians frequently face harassment and even violence from peers, at school, on the streets or from family members.

In a recent national survey of gay and lesbian young people, 44% had experienced verbal abuse and 16% had been physically assaulted because of their sexuality. 74% of this abuse had occurred at schools. 10

Young people who had been abused fared worse on almost every indicator of health and well being than those who had not. 10

Young gays and lesbians often fear rejection and harassment from other people.

You need to make sure that your service is a safe place for everyone. It is your legal responsibility to make sure that your service is safe for everyone.

Your service can have group rules such as " "this is a safe place", "no hassling or put downs", "treat other people with respect" or "no discrimination".

Clearly state that homophobia, racism and sexism will not be tolerated.

Bullying, "jokes" or harassment may occur in groups of young people. This type of behaviour is completely unacceptable. It is against the law and can have a major impact on the emotional wellbeing of young people.

Take immediate steps to address this type of behaviour whenever it occurs.

It is the responsibility of all workers to ensure your service is safe.

In many cases young gay men and young lesbians have not come out yet. They may feel offended by comments or "jokes" but they would have to identify themselves as homosexual in order to complain, so they don't.

Never ignore bullying, "jokes", harassment or violence because this sends a message that this type of behaviour is approved.

For example, "that's so gay" is commonly used as an expression by young people to mean that something is broken, stupid or ridiculous.

If young people use slang (offensive) words to refer to gay and lesbian people talk to them about this.

By addressing the behaviour, you can send a message to the group that the behaviour is not OK, you can get young people to think about their attitude to homosexuality, and you can send a message of acceptance to any gay or lesbian young person who is in the group.

The best approach is to be supportive and encourage discussion and awareness raising, rather than being aggressive. Take small steps.

You should have policies in place to deal with discrimination and make sure that your staff and volunteers know about the policies and how to implement them.

Several organisations such as Twenty10 and the Diverse Sexuality Project run training programs for organisations.

Promoting a supportive environment
One way of promoting an accepting and welcoming environment is to display visual material which shows your support for gay and lesbian young people. This may include flyers about gay and lesbian support groups and anti-violence initiatives, and safe place stickers (a pink triangle).

You could also have the rules clearly displayed stating the group rules and that the centre does not accept homophobia, racism or sexism.

This helps send a strong non-verbal message of safety to young people.

Legal issues
Many workers are uncertain about the legal issues regarding homosexuality. The Hawkesbury Nepean Community Legal Centre has produced an easy to read manual about these issues. You can contact them to get a free copy (details are at the back of this section).

Some youth workers discriminate against young gay men and lesbians without even realising it. For example, by being concerned about two young gay men having sex but not being concerned about a straight couple having sex. A useful way to think about such concerns is to ask yourself: "Would I be thinking this way if the situation was heterosexual?". If the answer is no then you are probably discriminating.

Many people are not aware that the legal age of consent is now 16 years for both males and females, and for both homosexual and heterosexual sex.

Personal beliefs about homosexuality
Some people have personal beliefs that do not value or accept homosexuality. Some people also follow religious teachings that do or do not value homosexuality.

It is important to be aware of your own beliefs and how these can impact on your work with young people.

Your duty of care and professional responsibility is one of acceptance, respect and support for all people.  

Most workers, regardless of their personal beliefs, have a strong commitment to creating a safe and respectful place for young people. This can be a useful framework to use in thinking about how you should work with young gays and lesbians.

These values of safety and respect can also be reiterated to young people through group rules

If a young person tells you that they are gay or lesbian
It takes a lot of courage for a young person to start talking about their feelings for the first time.

They will probably be feeling anxious about how you will react and whether you will reject them.

The most important thing to do is to show that you still accept, respect and value them as a person.

Use the young person's words as a guide and avoid the temptation to push them into a particular definition or decision.

For example: Young woman "I think I'm attracted to girls"

In the example above, the young woman may be saying that she is bi-sexual, or a lesbian or exploring her sexuality.

Try and engage the young person in a conversation and be non-judgemental.

There is no need for a young person to be rushed into a definition of their sexuality.

A young person may be feeling upset, or alternatively very comfortable, about their sexuality. Be guided by the young person's feelings. It is important to find out how they are feeling as this will guide you in how you can respond.

Recent research of 1449 gay and lesbian young people found that 76% said that they felt good or great about their sexuality, 19% reported feeling OK and 5% felt bad or really bad. 10

Don't assume that the young person will immediately want to come out. You should not pressure them to come out. Your role as a worker is to explore whether they want to come out. If they do, encourage them to think about the implications of coming out before they take any action.

Negative implications of coming out may include:
Rejection or discrimination by their friends, family, school or workplace.

Positive implications of coming out may include:
A greater level of self acceptance, feeling stronger, more confident, or no longer afraid that others will find out.

Always refer the young person to a specialist service for further advice and support.

Before coming out, a young person needs to think about:

• who they will tell (they may only want to tell a close friend or family member)
• when they will tell them
• how they will tell them
• who will tell them
• how to handle the situation if the response is not positive.

It may take some time for a young person to consider all of these issues, rather than these decisions being made in a single conversation. 1

The young person is likely to experience a range of both positive and negative reactions from their family, friends and peer group. 9

It can be particularly difficult for young people to come out in rural areas where they may not have any role models, where a lower level of confidentiality exists and where they do not have access to the same level of support services or information. 8

There are a number of telephone counselling services that can be of great assistance to gay and lesbian young people in rural areas (details at the back of this section).

If a young person needs support, give them the contact details for:

• any local support groups
• the Gay & Lesbian Counselling Service
• PFLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

PFLAG will provide support to young people who are considering coming out to their parents. They also provide support for parents who are coming to terms with their child's orientation.

Research has found that two thirds of mothers and half of all fathers are supportive when their child disclosed their sexual preference to them. 1

You might feel uncomfortable talking about sexuality with a young person. Young people's sexuality can be a taboo topic in our culture and homosexuality can be even more taboo. If you feel uncomfortable or nervous you can simply say something like:

"I'm feeling a bit unsure about this because I've never talked to someone about this before. Let's keep talking so we can figure out how to make sure you are supported".

They may have noticed you seem a bit uncomfortable, and might be worried that you will reject them. Saying this lets the young person know why you are uncomfortable, while showing that you still have a positive regard for them as a person.

Remember that the young person has made a disclosure to you because they trust you and your professionalism.

Keep a young person's disclosure as confidential. The decision to tell others belongs to the young person.

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