There are a number of things you can do to help and support someone who tells you they have been sexually assaulted.
If they have been assaulted recently (like in the past few days) it is important that the person is out of danger and safe from being assaulted again. You should encourage them to go somewhere safe like a police station, hospital or a trusted friend's house.
Believe what they are telling you
What the person needs to hear is that you believe them. Trying to get the details and facts about what happened is not important. They need to know you are willing to listen to them and help them as much as possible.
Support them
Make sure the person knows you are able to listen and support them with whatever decisions they make. Let the person know that you care about them and are there for them. It is important that you don't push someone who has been sexually assaulted to do what you think is best for them. Instead support and encourage the person to make decisions for themselves. This won't be easy for them, as often a person who has been sexually assaulted has a mixture of emotions including powerlessness and indecisiveness. It is the person's choice if they want to speak to police, go to the hospital for an examination or if they want to speak to a counsellor.
Don't blame them
There are many myths surrounding sexual assault and why it occurs. A lot of these myths blame the victim and take the responsibility away from the offender. You may find it hard to believe and support the person who has been assaulted, especially if you know the offender personally. It is important to remember people rarely lie about sexual violence and it takes a lot of courage and trust for someone to come forward about their assault. It is important that you listen and respect them. Sometimes supporters feel a sense of guilt, self blame and even anger when someone they know has been sexually assaulted. It is common for supporters to think if they had just done "this or that" then they could have prevented the assault from happening. You and the victim are not at fault.
Look after yourself
It can be difficult and emotionally very draining supporting a person who has been sexually assaulted. People who are close to the victim may find that they are feeling a range of emotions and feel helpless. It is important that as a supporter you also have someone you can talk to about what is happening. You to can access help through you local sexual assault service or Rape Crisis NSW on 1800 424 017.
Keep yourself informed
It is common for people not to know how to support someone who has been assaulted.
Information about sexual assault, its impact and options available afterwards are widely available for both yourself and the victim from a number of sources:
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Read the YAPA fact sheet If you have been sexually assaulted.
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Contact your local sexual assault service or Rape Crisis NSW. They can be contacted by phone on 1800 424 017 (freecall) or via the internet at www.nswrapecrisis.com.au.
Remember, neither you or the victim are responsible for what has happened!
[Thanks to the NSW Rape Crisis Centre for some of this information]
